I feel as if I'm writing a book. Be forwarned and skip this if you want to. I'm sorry it's long. So many of you have asked how things are going. Right now I'd have to say not worth a toot.

The frustration is tremendous today. Today the new yardman (that my husband thinks we don't need) came. My husband is still recovering from back surgery but it hasn't sunk into his head yet that he can't do much of the work around here. I hired this yard man because my stepmom said he was honest. What she didn't tell me was that he works with his grandson who weighs about 195 lbs and is about as wide as he is tall. So today they come to do this work. What I needed done was some trees cut back away from the house. One was interfering with the antenna for our wireless internet access and one was dead and we were afraid it'd fall on the house. Well guess what? It did...they didn't push it in the right direction. Talk about 2 klutzes, Luckily it hit and then rolled off. I haven't been able to see it yet because of the walker I'm on. It is hard to navigate the steps with it. My husband tells me the damage isn't too bad. But then our opinion of what is bad and isn't bad has always differed.

I really don't like posts where I complain, but hey.. you asked!! I'm finding this injury to myself is so frustrating. And the pain is almost unbearable at night. I've coped with my neuropathy pain by sleeping on my side for years now, and right now I can't sleep on my side, it puts too much pressure on the fractures in the sacrum. And to roll to one side is just impossible, it takes hours of inching slowly bit by bit to turn over or shift my hips. So I'm not getting much sleep.

Everything just seems to take so long. Every step is measured, every movement has to be done so that I don't twist or bend too far. This is not an injury for a wimp. And I'm so impatient. I want things done when I think of them which means now! My poor husband feels that he needs to run for cover every now and then.

The doctor says this will take a long time to heal because of the nature of everything. I have rheumatoid arthritis along with the Sjogren's. Even tho the clinical features of the disease are under control, it primarily means the inflammation is presently under control. But the disease is still there and the disease causes osteoporosis. And the osteoporosis went untreated so long that it has caused severe damage. Paper thin bones. I'm currently being treated with a regimin of Actonel, Micalcin and 1600 mg of Calcium w/ vitamin D. It will be an uphill battle because so much damage has been done already.

The nerves in the area have caused the neuropathy to be so much worse. It's not just bone pain, it's nerve pain too. It seems I'm told, that the nerves along the S3 area are affected by this fracture and the pain goes down into the legs too. Particularly the right leg. The right side of the sacrum is worse. I'm just really cranky.

I did not expect to get so much money when you all told me you were gifting me with a laptop and I know that it is an expensive laptop but I wanted to put all of the money that so many people donated into just what the money had been donated for. I didn't think it was the right thing to do to buy a cheap laptop and pocket the rest of the money. And I know that none of you have any clue how much has been donated. I don't even know the full total yet. Kmeb has had doctor's appts. But she has been able to give me an estimate so that we could start shopping.

I just thank you so much. It will make all of this easier. It's hard to get to my computer right now. We built a long sprawled out house and wouldn't you know the computer is on the opposite end from everything else. And it is so hard to sit. I'm really looking forward to just lounging some. I just am looking so forward to your gift to a cranky, grumpy Texas redhead. (the redhead sure needs touching up!

Love to all,
Billye