Quote:
Originally Posted by scarletBegonias
hi! i've been dating someone with a TBI for 4 & 1/2 months. not only are we faced with the injury (which happened a year or so before we met), but a 7 year age gap, and about 250 miles of distance between us. it may seem as though all the odds are against us, and sometimes they really are. but we preserver.
we're hitting some serious rough patches lately, especially after he met my best friend this weekend. she thinks he's lazy and full of crap which is not fair to him or myself, and rather ignorant of her.
i sometimes find myself not able to understand him. communication is difficult, as neither of us understand the other fully.
i guess what i'm looking for is some support from others out there who are also dating someone with this condition. i feel alone.. no understands the immense amount of love i have for my boyfriend despite all of the above. and equally, i feel i shouldn't have to explain it. what do i do to keep all the negativity at bay, short of cutting everyone off? i'm getting to that point..
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People don't understand brain injuries, they can't see them. Sure they can see the visible scars, but understand, no. Our spouses all have different levels of function. Some have hearing, eye, nerve, muscle and brain damage.
Others have some or none. We have to continually walk the thin line between doing everything and finding the things they can and do need to do, to have a sense of self worth. They resent us because the have an brain injury, everything that is simple for us is harder for them. Staying on tract, remembering what they are doing. They forget. They go off track. They mentally drift away. The fixate on one thing and ignore the big picture. The impulse control issues. Thinking they can handle paying bills and finances. Its awful and it is hard to deal with.