I also feel your guilt. I have homeschooled my son since April 2006. We have always been able to just leave and go where when we want, and why we want. I cannot now. If I wake up flared, we don't leave the house, no matter what was planned.

Keep in mind that when you have your grandkids you do NOT have to jump around and keep up with them (not that I am saying you do). Kids have soooo much compassion it is quite amazing to see.

My suggestion: Look for craft books, craft ideas, etc that in the 2 hour time frame that you can give them, they leave with a memory of a fun thing with grandma. Please keep in mind it is the memories and not the things you buy them to compensate for not being able to keep up.

Also if they are old enough, since you have internet (obviously) there are instant messages that can be done. Some instant messages offer games that can be played between the two people.

If you offer their ages I can help you look for some fun (in home) things to do in a short amount of time.

Hugs. They will remember you for you, not for your disease.

Also, when it comes down to shopping, I try not to do it too often. I am the only one in the household with a license though. My mom came over and she drove us to Jonathan's sports last Thursday, then we went to Chuck E Cheese. She and I sat while he played, then I stood and did a couple of games with him. Then my mom offered to buy us dinner for a couple of nights, so we went to Target. At the end of this I was crying and Patrick had to help me into the house (almost carrying me). So basically: no driving, no major walking, standing for about 5 min @ CEC, and walking slowly leaning on a cart in the food section only at Target and I was 10 plus and crying my eyes out. We left at 1 and were home by 4. Hmm, I can't even give my family 3 hours of my time before I get so badly set off that it scares my own mother.

I feel your guilt.