Hi Sue,
I am in the same situation except my grandchilden are on the other coast.
I have a 4 year old grandson I've never held in my arms.

I was so irritable I couldn't stand to be around myself !!
My doctor told me this was part of depression, the only sign I ever showed as I never felt depressed. But I researched it and it is one of the signs.
Trazodone helped me, but i still am very irritable. Sometimes like a pot ready to boil over. I hope you can explain this to people honestly and that they wll understand why you are so irritated. Takes a lot of hard work to overcome this.
All the best to you,
Hope