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Member
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 214
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Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 214
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My providers (doctors, PT, OT, therapist, all who specialize in brain injuries) keep telling me that they expect me to make a full recovery, and my rational side believes them, because most people with mTBI get better. But, for some reason I have a really hard time, especially the last few months, truly believing that, and I don't quite understand why. Normally I'm a very positive person who tries to see the best in things, and am generally have a positive attitude about how things will turn out. But PCS has driven that positive person away, and I can't seem to find him again.
Hockey, I appreciate what you said. I do think that part of my negativity about my recovery stems from seeing the horrible things that TBI can do to people on this board (but mostly the fact that I seem to simply not be getting much better!). I count myself lucky everyday that compared to many on this board my symptoms are mild. And while the presence of "lifers" skews much of what's posted on this board towards the extreme, I think you all also serve as an example of the resilience of the human spirit, and give hope that even if things don't get better, people can adapt.
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26 year-old PhD student in evolutionary biology, slipped on ice in Feb 2014 while clipping my fingernails and walking to save time (dumbest reason for PCS ever?). Initially just had headaches and didn't feel quite right, but a minor head bump 5 days later started a downward spiral of anxiety, depression, insomnia and fatigue. Had trouble concentrating on reading/looking at screens
April 2014 - did exertion test, passed, started exercising and doing more, but didn't feel much better.
May 2014 - Went on backpacking trip OK'd by doctor, trip itself went fine, but felt worse a few days after getting back, more difficulty concentrating, worse headaches.
June 2014 - Bumped head on ceiling walking slowly down stairs, no immediate symptoms, but caused worsening headahces, more difficulty concentrating and looking at screens. Have not felt as good as I did before this since this bump.
December 2014 - after feeling relatively better I went xc skiing and fell but didn't hit my head (something my psychologist who specializes in brain injuries told me he hoped would happen so I saw it was OK), felt worse
Feb 2015 - back in grad school, light teaching load and some research, nowhere close to operating at my full capacity. Still have constant headaches, difficulty reading/looking at screens, mild anxiety and depression, and just not feeling like my normal sharp self.
Trying, but struggling, to believe that I'll get back to my old self, or at least get close.
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