sorry I'm so late to the game/ I first had issues about 5 years ago. I wrote this and saved it as a draft in my hotmail account just incase I ever forgot.

here's my story. (I wrote this about 5 years ago)

Basically, over a 5-6 day period, every 2-3 months, i have these intense lapses in memory. Can't remember who I am, what I am doing and can't talk really for 15-30 seconds at a time (worst is 3-4 minutes). During this time I have intense deja vu (or my brain tells me I am), and I swear I can tell you exactly what you are about to say before you say it, which to me means my brain is jacked up.


I am completely NOT kidding about this. Usually if there's a bathroom around I can make it into there and just wait it out. at the worst, I feel like vomiting.

when its happening, I cannot think straight. its really a horrible feeling. I have no clue where I am and what is happening. I can still drive when it happens. but most of the time I pull over. I was driving today to the bank after meeting a friend for Pizza. It happened as I was pulling out of the drive through, and it took me 10-12 minutes to figure out who i was, where I was going and then where the library was (my work).

I didn't think I was epileptic and I don't know that its a seizure. it happens pretty much on cue every 2-3 months, and a day before it starts, I know its going to happen. Then it happens on and off for 5 days on average. it started Friday and today has been the worst. Usually day four is the worst and it gets better and is done within 5-6 days.

by wednesday I will be fine. I can keep my eyes open. if i type, however, you'd see just mumbo-jumbo.
having a blast now. not as bad as usual,
i just have to put my head down.

stomach didn't hurt as bad on that one.my head is hot though. sweaty.feel like putting my head down.

I have had the suggestion by one person to go to a neurologist. i am scared to death to. i am sweating like a pig now. today it's been every 45 minutes to an hour and a half. probably the peak I've ever had it. Sucks to be me.

The tough thing is that it only happens every 2-3 months. I'm just so down when it happens. I always fear I will be around someone and talking to someone and say something stupid. I happened to be opening up 3 CDs at local banks today, while driving a rental car. All okay so far! It's called managing the problem. Twice I just had to pull over and wait it out.

My pulse doesn't go up when it happens.

Part of me just doesn't know where to start, or what to say. this is probably the best I have done putting it into words. when it happens, it is as though I know what you are going to say before you say it. ive hidden it for years. I have felt alone for years. ive been ignoring it for years hoping it would go away.

I hit my head trying to jump down a flight of stairs when I was 12 (I know....stupid)....and had 6 stitches on the front 1/3 of my noggin. However, I think I remember times before this that I had very intense, very re-occuring dreams, since I was in the 8-9 years of age. re-occuring
dreams at night...same dream-like euphoria I experience now.

I pleaded with my wife to believe me. She didn't until she saw me sweating profusely one night and I wouldn't respond to her.

She believed me I had an issue, but then I had to threaten going straight to a neurologist if she wouldn't let me talk to someone....just to get advice...she trusted these people at our church, and I had them lovingly confront her about it.

She's still not happy about that. That convinced her that I was serious enough about it. She "permitted" me to discuss the issue with her parents.
I've studied thus enough to know what it likely is. Her parents tried to downplay it, saying it was stress, work, lack of sleep, not working out, eating poorly, and caffeine...

So, when I lost my job in July, I slept more, worked out every day, cut the caffeine, had NO stress, and enjoyed life. They suggested I talk to our family doctor who is a friend. He put me on ADD meds and I had more in October and again in January.


Again, that was 4-5 years ago. Since then, I still have them, but lately they have not been half as bad. I am throwing away my pills....my wife thinks I am still taking them. They are Methylphenidate and Citalopram. When I take them I feel worse. If I have a few nights where I get poor sleep, it starts up the following day.

I will say this. The dreams/experiences are so euphoric, so amazing (yet frightful), that I tend to miss them when I haven't had them for a long time.