It is a very emotional thing for me to write this post. I know many people who have been and are struggling so hard with this thing...and I think of Rick - and others - who was the very model of mental sanity and graciousness making the decision he made...and all I want to do is to be able to give the magic answer, and say this is how you do it, my dear friends. But in order to have arrived at the point I am at now, I had to leave everything behind, the whole paradigm, the whole idea that there is this thing that we all have, and that one path or method will help everyone or it helps no one. I believe that is a false construct.

And while I am not going to present my medical records in order to convince people - in fact, I am not trying to convince people of anything. In a way, one walks the healing path, and the road rolls up like a carpet behind you, and the next person still has to find their own path. But for anyone open to my experience who wants to ask me something about it, feel free to PM me. Meanwhile, I want to say that what I have been through has been quite the ordeal, and involves many factors, but that for me, I am finding my way out of this labrynth more and more. I wanted to do it in time to hep Rick, Ibby, Paula, Carole.... But I can at least now try and leave a trail of breadcrumbs, a golden thread... Some will be angry, and say it is false hope. Hope is not a guarantee, but hope. A thing with feathers. Bless you all.