Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellie
I just feel like I need to let go, because if he dies I don't think I can handle all of the guilt I have and I don't know why I have it. I'm not taking his calls, he just yells at me now. Either he says he'll kill me or kill himself and it's really just too much.
|
(((Ellie))) I wish I had more time to talk to you, but I don't so I hope someone else will come along.
You shouldn't have any guilt concerning your brother, period. He's extremely ... well, extreme. You mentioned more than sibling rivalry and you were absolutely right. And mostly everyone knows that people who torture, maim or kill animals as children usually grow up to be criminals.
You don't owe him a thing. What you do owe is a healthy lifestyle to yourself. I don't know if you've been to a therapist, but a good therapist, over time, can do a world of good.
His threats, in my opinion, are just that. He's playing on your, and others, sympathy. You hate me so I'm going to kill myself. You won't give me money so I'm' going to kill myself. If he did, you most certainly would not be guilty of any part of it.
I'm shocked at your parents regardless of the 70s and 80s. If I had a child killing pets and mercilessly beating on my daughter, I'd be doing something. It sounds to me like you are long overdue on telling your father and grandmother exactly what went down and how you feel about the way everyone has been treated.
I'm so sorry. Your story just makes me a little angry, personally, because my best friend went through some of that same stuff with her daughter. Her daughter didn't kill pets, but she's done everything else short of almost murdering someone.
Take care of yourself and see if you can find a good counselor/therapist to talk to. You don't owe your brother a thing. When we have deep feelings for someone, it's easy for us to see that 'crying' side of them and defend them to others by insisting they really are good on the inside.
Your brother needs tons of help, and I think more than you can give because you should be giving to yourself.
I sure wouldn't take any more collect calls from jail unless you're doing really well monetarily! My friend's daughter used to do that all the time and her phone bill was outrageous.
And you have every right to come in here to tell your story and I'm glad you did.
I hope someone else comes along who isn't as 'tough-love' as I am, because right now your brother just ticks me off royally.
Very sincere hugs for you.
