Trigger

Please beware that this post may be a trigger.
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I was suicidal last night but got through it. Whenever I've taken more than enough medicine in the past I did it out of anger/frustration which is a very bad state for me. I thought about how difficult my life has been for so long and how I'm tired of being so alone. When people in 3-D are nice to me they seem to want to use me and quit being nice once once I decide to stop being used. My husband screwed my head up so bad with the emotional abuse that I think it's going to take years of therapy to get straight if I ever do. I really have no one in 3-D life who gives a hoot. I am suppose to have someone stay with me the day I have my colonoscopy but I don't. I have in the 1st time in my life never been so all alone. That was also on my mind last night mixed with all the anger from people just being so insensitive in 3-D. Then I thought about my online friends and told myself if I could just go to sleep I would turn to them. Last night I was paranoid about even posting about my condition as I was scared some how I'd end up in the hospital.

Today I feel so much better although the issues I have are still there.

befuddled2