It sounds to me by reading your msg that your daughter is dealing with issues other than just OCD. Sure, she needs to be accountable for her actions, but it sounds as if she has a lot more going on than obsessions and compulsions and needs correct diagnoses and treatments if applicable.
If I were in your shoes, I'd try to find a local group for caregivers and family support. They would have resources to help you. I'd do it right now.
There are lists of support groups online. In person ones I mean, not just the internet.
one example for OCD is the OC Foundation
http://www.ocfoundation.org/listsupportgroups.aspx
This appears to be an urgent situation and I'd be asking for help from a social worker or her case worker. Ask her therapist for help. I'd do that right now too.
btw if her father has bipolar disorder and is spending his life in and out of hospital I would think that he is not being correctly treated either.
sorry your family are dealing with all these worries.
It would be very stressful indeed.