Barbara I'm alone too and some times it's soooo hard to not just take the easy way out. I get so tired of the emotional and physical pain, the ups and downs and just "things" in general and I get crazy thoughts. But then my cat comes and sits in my lap or cuddles against me and I stare in those eyes and I think "HE NEEDS ME". Or I wake up, or let's say get out of bed

, and the sun is shining and the birds are chirping and I think heck, I don't want to miss this.
This too shall pass. Try to stay strong.

Barbara