I was never depressed before my brain started acting silly.

My first brain injuries were a couple of major strokes after cardiac surgery - 5 years ago. Turns out if you have a stroke, the docs assume you'll be depressed and throw meds at you.

Sadly, every anti depressant I've ever had has had major side effects of suicidal thoughts and so on. I kept being hospitalized and forced to get even more meds - which made things even worse.

I feel very bad for anyone who has those horrible depressive thoughts naturally.

My TBI was very intense, and I had to go through the darned medication thing all over again.

Why don;'t doctors believe you when you say you can't tolerate anti depressants - even though it was all over my medical records - had to go through the whole thing again.

I have boxes of leftover anti-depressants around here - if I ever do get really bad someday, I know I can just grab a few handfuls and end it all. That is the only comfort I've ever gotten from those meds or any of the mental therapists.

Not seriously thinking about it, and I'm in too much pain, and I'm not cognitively able to do that.

Sending good thoughts to anyone who can use them.