I try to keep up on what is happening to you too. I wish your weight loss was easier. You mentioned alcohol being the culprit, any chance you could change that one desire to something else that brings pleasure? I have heard if you substitute something you really want or like, it helps to get rid of the habit you don't like. Remember the old cig adds where they would put a pack in water and then let it sit awhile. Well it ruins your love of cigs that day anyway.

Stand by someone who is sick from booze and make yourself be around them. Maybe seeing someone really __it faced would shock you a bit. Bizi you are such a good woman, and so kind to others. There has to be a way that you can enjoy all of life like you deserve without drinking. My folks were heavy drinkers, and it scared me so much I don't touch much at all. A glass of wine when out to dinner. Maybe work at a drunk house for a day, something to get under your skin.

I know this is crazy, but you have struggled so hard with this, and I can't tell you how much I respect you for doing so.

Is there some great tasting drink you do like without alcohol? Wish I could do something to help you on this road of yours. Just keep trying Bizi. we are all behind you.
My news....
I am in heavy duty therapy as my shoulder cannot have the surgery. The nerve is not trapped, it is compressed from all areas from swollen tendons,muscles, and the sheath that covers the ulner nerve. I blew out my arm trying to take care of this place, this jungle. ruined the ulnar nerve actually as the entire arm is inflamed. Have neuro massage which is hell several times a week. Water therapy, wax therapy, acupuncture, hot and cold therapy, and PT for the rest of me. I am in and out of some office almost daily. Can't believe how bad that neuro massage hurts, OMG!!!!
The thing is this arm is so bad, that If I do not do something I will lose my ability to use it altogether. Being an artist, that would be devastating to my mental health. You cannot give up what you are, and believe me working with my left hand is awful. I dropped more things the last month than I have in a life time.
All is well in the love dept. If I can get well this fall, and be able to at least cut a cabbage, I will marry this man come Jan. Don't think I will be out of therapy until then. Also I have to save money, and so does my son in order for me to return. No expense with lodging, only food and transport. The new frog I am workng on in beads is adorable.
Just wanted to catch up with you and folks as I have not been around for a time, and this has been the reason.
I miss all of you very much and still keep NT in my prayers. This site has and always will be a blessing to me. Take care Bizi and gang. ginnie