I feel your pain. I'm reaching one of those stages too. I've been there before. It'll pass. But you may need some help getting there. Ask about Cymbalta. It's a double duty anti-depressant in that it will help with the depression and any anxiety and also with some of the pain. At least for many people it helps with at least a certain amount of the pain.

That hole you're in is awful. I understand. It's worse when I look further ahead than right now, this minute. I take it one day at time, some times one hour or one minute at a time. And I don't care any longer what anyone else thinks. I *know* what I have. I *know* many people don't "get it". But that's their problem, not mine. Or yours.

I'm becoming so frustrated with the pain relief issues. As far as I know, what I have is never going to go away or get better, only worse. I honestly can't care about dependence issues. Dependence is different than addiction. But I do care about having *some* quality of life.

Ask your doc about a pain specialist. If you're not already seeing one. That might make the difference for you and the kinds of meds you might need.

Know that you're not alone. Sending vibes of love and light to you. *gentle hug*