blessings to all who suffered
a horrible death
blessings to those who still suffer the massive
loss of a true melting pot
blessings to those who are lifting me
that carries a heavy heart
blessings to all those who suffer depression
it is a place of darkness i wish on no one
not wanting to bring my pain
in a constant beat of physical pain
so comes the beat of spiritual suffering
my dear dear friends
to be at this Time of my life
lived my life expectancy half a century
with a cross that has gotten heavier
and heavier until my physical state
has begun to break down at what should
have been a peek time so they say
my dear Father
with no option but to move forward as hard as it is
still typing with my pencil and letter by letter
laying on my left side
am compelled to write today
to be reminded today that is very clear in these eyes
living where i do
oh what a horrible day
had my first panic attack
it was a late fall day
with a orange huge in the air
i thaught we were attacked bomb
hit just waiting for the wind of fire

i have morbid thoughts every once in a while since then
even in my dreams

Father help me in this difficult time
as only You know my heart
my Love abundant
my pain and sorrow trumps
oh bless us all
keep my children safe
i miss my dog
me