It's not that I don't appreciate the many blessings in my life. I just feel soooo sad. I hope life holds more happy times cuz this one is hard to take i.e. constant pain, debilitating fatigue, loss of income, friends and family who really weren't there for you to begin with (this may be a blessing but hurtful to accept). Thanks for everyone's message of hope. I'm trying to walk through the pain right now. Hoping to come out the other side.