I understand. I have had too much loss too fast also...deaths, rape, robbery, accident, etc. Overwhelming, turned my world upside down. I isolated and freaked. Had dark thoughts....but I still want to know what is around the corner. Re-inventing oneself can be an adventure. Life's challenges can make us stronger and better, even tho it can be so painful...it also contains joy. When the dark clouds hide the sun in your life, always know the sun is still there.