I saw God and realized it maybe too late.

I saw God in the incredible complex beauty of the human mind. Untold cells and neurons and chemicals doing untold number of things every second and working with a body that by all scientific reasoning, shouldn't even be able to stand, no less make the instant calculations needed to walk, jump, ride a bike, drive and on and on.

And to think and to learn and to mentally, spiritually and physically love that one special person, the delicate balance of so many parts of the brain and so many chemicals and neurons involved is almost staggering

I caused damage to this delicate balance and I am sorry God I wasn't thinking.

I saw God and didn't even realize it. Now I need his help because I've hurt too many people with my selfish act and I want them to stop paying the price/ I'm human, so I am also selfishly wanting an end to the pain so I can enjoy everything I overlooked before, when I was mired in self pity.