Petr,

It sounds to me like you also need to regain confidence to stand strong in regards to your father. He does not sound like a source of confidence so you need to avoid considering him as any source of strength. You and you alone understand the struggles you are having. We can only support you in that understanding from afar.

Take inventory of the things you can do, the things you struggle to do and the things you can not do. Then try to learn ways to work around the things you can not do and patience to struggle through your struggles.

My best to you.