Heya,

Firstly - about grannies.. like Rogue I had Old granny and broken granny.

Broken granny had broken her spine when she was in her 20s and paralysed her left leg and partially paralysed in her right leg. The accident also gave her severe chronic pain and sciatica and numbness and all of that. Although she could get round the house on crutches she had to have a wheelchair when she was outside and she spent alot of time resting.

I remember her so much more than old granny. I loved her to pieces. She taught me chinese chequers, how to iron, supplied me with books, taught me to cook, encouraged me to live my dreams (before RSD I desperatly wanted to do medicine and granny had a degree in tropical medicine so we'd spend hours talking about it). She taught me to knit, sew, card wool, spin, weave, make rugs, crotchet and any other handicraft. It didn't matter if we had to stay in- we always had a ball. She taught me about animals, about herons, fish, frogs, toads. Even though we couldn't venture out of the back garden because of her walking we still would talk about plants and animals and anything. She encouraged us to perform plays, to write stories or to just hang out. We used to go and sit on her bed if she was having a bad day and just do a jigsaw or talk whilst knitting away.

As I got older and she moved down to live in a new house 2 minutes walk from ours she became someone that was always there, for coffee, ideas, sympathy or occasionally a kick up the butt for being lazy. Just walking in to the house just made you feel better somehow and comforted. After I developed RSD she was amazing at helping me learn to live with the pain, she understood, to some degree which is more than the rest of my family!

I guess I just wanted to say that I was always far closer to "broken" granny than I was to "old" granny. And it was because she always had time for me and also that she had a way of making the most boring things fun and was amazing at sparking hobbies for us to take up. (oh that's something else - we used to do loads of scrapbooking).

Irritability - I am far more irritable than I used to be - I'm usually very laid back about things but nowadays I just get so cross if things aren't right. I think I'm irritable because of pain and exhaustion and generally feeling rubbish. I try to keep it toned down but sometimes you just want to scream with FRUSTRATION at everything going on...

Your grandkids will remember you for being great!!

Love

Frogga xxxxxxxxxxxxx