I was almost approved with first application, at the first stage, but the decision ended up getting yanked and was one of a small percentage to be over turned. It took me a long and complicated journey to reach a Fully Favorable decision. In hindsight, had I simply learned what was important to SS by doing my research in the beginning, I wouldn't have wasted so much time.

Your situation is not all that unusual. Approval at this ALJ hearing, or even after another appeal, is entirely possible.

Without reading your file, it is impossible to guess why you're not being approved. If your attorney is not proactive on your behalf, than you need to be. If you haven't read the Blue and Red books yet, that would be a good place to start.

You've written that your ALJ has a high denial rate, so maybe you should consider changing your Alleged Onset Date voluntarily to when you turned either 50 or 55--this would lower the threshold for your approval based on the grid rules. But, whatever you decide, going into the hearing with the attitude that it's a waste of time and being hostile to the ALJ, will not help your case.