All of you thanks.

How I've managed to stay on this site so long with some of my insane rants and depressing raves is a miracle or we have the most patient, understanding moderators in the world

thank God we do because I NEED this board man. I need all of you guys who just responded and a dozen or even more other people. I hope to need it less and less one day. This board is almost like a hospital. You go in sick, usually come out better and then maybe visit that doctor that saved your life from time to time, or maybe you are chronic and the hospital takes care of you and you help the new patients

At some point it has to be forget the doctor. I can't go near him anyway because Detectives have made perfectly clear that I should not again.

But two suicide attempts, a bunch of psych ward stays, ER visits, hospital stays, collapsing in the street several times, chronic pain, tinnitus, loss of friends an family and CAREER!! because of that guy....my hate is building again!!! Someone PLEASE tell me how to let go of the hate for the man that might be the reason I get dementia one day.

Again, thanks guys.