markneil- I did have ativan that I used for the first two weeks. It just seemed to make things worse for me. I would just pass out for 2 hours and wake up in a panic. I tried xanax too and it did the same.

mark in idaho- It's my husband, father and sister that want me to stay on meds. My mom is a little more understanding. I think they believe with these meds that I'll return to normal function level, but I'm just not as of right now.

I couldn't believe some of the billing offices wouldn't work with me a little more. Frustrating to say the least as I am probably one of the few without insurance that is actually trying to pay a debt.

I have no idea about the trust fund. Where would I find that information?

The inpatient stay was a "no other option" type of thing. I went 17 days without eating more than 500 calories a day, lost tons of weight and didn't sleep for more than two hours a night. I guess I had a nervous breakdown of sorts and told my family I couldn't go on living anymore like this. It's like my body got stuck in fight or flight mode, hence why I found that fight or flight therapy and it gave me some hope.

I still feel that way now. It subsided for a short spell, but even as I type this I am shaking and a nervous, panic stricken wreck for no reason. I just wake up like this and battle it all day long. The internal struggle of trying to convince myself I'm okay is wearing me so thin.

Thank you for continuing to help. I need all the help I can get.