i am not sure if this is the right way to say this or feel this but here it goes::i feel like i am a survivor of suicide everyday since i have lost so many important people in my life and the use of most of my own body...there isn't a day that goes by without me thinking of leaving this painful life--but then someone says how important i am to them or how much they need me around that i say ok not today..but i am just so tired and depressed..but still hanging on (if even by a hair) and trying to deal with all that my life is trowing at me..one after another after another for the last 14 years...thank you all for being so understanding-- moonstar