Mrs. D.

So now you can just imagine my father casually moving hundreds of these little green lizards out of the cement thing he was trying to put down to lay down the patio squares. I swear, I have never been exposed to such bugs, lizards or Flying Things, in my entire life.

Oh, when my parents were in Richey Manor Rehabilitation Home, I went to see them. I had no place to stay except in a nearby motel. Now I'm not afraid to travel by myself. I got married at the ripe old age of 32 so I have been places and seen things right?

So I left Alan and my son at home (little did I know my 14 year old son dialed up cable pay-per-view and charged the playbody channel to our bill. I was in Florida for 5 days and every time I called home, my husband would say 'wow, Frank is just watching tv during school vacation, havent' heard a peep out of him". Who knew that when I got home, I would get a $400 cable bill and see all those porno channel charges. I immediately called the cable company and the guy laughed his head off. Guess what he told me. "The number one problem parents have with 14 year old boys is they charge the playboy channel to their parent's account". "I'm giving you a one time credit, make sure he doesn't do it again". I said "this happens a lot??" He said "are you serious?, it happens every day'. Well, after I killed my son and broke his legs, (lol), believe me, he never did that again. I think I grounded him (well, who can remember how long I grounded him (but I GROUNDED him).

Anyway, back to what I'm doing in Florida. It was 10 p.m., I get back to the motel, and I have to make a wash. They have a section in the motel where you bring your clothes, you put quarters into the machine and you wash your stuff. I approach the machine and guess what is sitting in the place where you have to put the quarters??? A toad!!! Or a frog, I have no idea what you call these things. So I said outloud to myself. 'well, I'm obviously back in the state where they have lizards, love bugs and flying waterbugs, now I have to deal with a toad, Okay, Melody, it's one toad!!!! Guess what?? It wasn't one toadl They were all over the ground, hundreds of them. I nearly died. I ran into the manager's office and grabbed him and dragged him over to the machines going "Do you see, Do you see?" and he says "Lady all I see are frogs, what's your problem?"

Think I made a wash that night? Thank god, I brought enough clothes.
As I made my way to my motel room, guess what was laying all over my door to my little motel room? A whole bunch of preying mantises. I nearly croaked. I just took a stick or something, shooed them away, went in and first thing in the morning, checked out of that motel and got another one.

More classy, definitely more expensive and you should have seen the look on the guys face when I checked in saying "This place better not have any bugs".

Cmon, more stories about frogs, and flying things. Let's get our minds off of our PN.

Oh, I'm going to post a question about glucose numbers, for a friend of mine!!!

P.S. I'll give you guys another good tip. Next time you speak to your cable company person, ask the following question? "Are you giving any promos for Showtime, Starz or anything else??? They will always say, "oh no, we can't do that". Of course they can, it's just a flick of little switch or a press of their button on their keyboards, but they don't know that we know this.

So I reply. "oh, it's no big thing if you can't but my husband has neuropathy, and he can't walk anywhere, he's recovering, and he just loves Showtime, it would be so nice if I could tell him he's got a month of free Showtime (or Starz or whatever). I told them exactly the truth. Alan is always recovering from his foot ulcer. He has orders not to go anywhere except to the bathroom. His foot is all wrapped up. So I just asked the guy on the phone if we could have a free month of Showtime.

Guess what ALWAYS happens? These people are so nice, sometimes they have to check with a supervisor, but they always come back and say in a conspiratorial kind of voice 'I just gave you 3 months of free Showtime (or Starz or whatever). I go to the tv and there it is. I go into the living room and show Alan he now has Showtime and he goes nuts. He says "I cannot believe how you do these things"

Wel, I've been doing "these things" for over a year.

See, cable companies always run promos, you just have to ask. HBO rarely does them but the other premium channels do. You just have to have the right person at the other end of the phone and politely ask.

Costs you nothing. And you might even get lucky like I did. I always thank them and Alan is happy as a clam. I have been watching The Tudors on Showtime. I wouldn't have missed that for the world.

So give it a try, if you only have basic cable.

My friend who has Stage 3 cancer tried to call but she didn't know how to word it and they said no. I called them from my house, explained her story. She got 3 months of Showtime and they took $5.00 off of her monthly bill for one year. She's estatic. I mean, cmon. We have to help each other out here, right?

mel