What did i do? i threw everything away for a few beers on a pill i should't have been on. oh god what did i do. i used to sleep normal, and feel fine. and no tinnitus. and no pain. no men problems and a very good job. God what did i do. what did i do. i'm sorry mom and dawn. i'm very sorry. I reember thinking that night that i made it. i was 37 and even after all my screwups i was still gonna have a house and a car and a family. what did i do. i thew awy my one life and ruined others. i'm sorry. i was supposed to take care of mother the last 7 years. not her me. and the pain never stops.
This wasnt a practice ilfe. This is the one a get. i worked so hard to get to where i was. it makes no sense.
DAwn is making plans alot and i ont blame her. who wants to be in the house all the time. but i'm too sick to go with her anywahere.
is this it. stuck in the hosue for the rest of my life to feel mental and physical pain and reget. seveh years later and it still hurts. wht did i do.