Songbird:

What a tough go. I'm really sorry that you're going through this. As you can already see with the responses here - You're not alone

I hope you don't mind me chipping in with somewhat of a different perspective...

Especially when things are rough, our first instinct is often to blame and find fault in others (and in ourselves). This literally adds fuel to the fire, and makes it even harder to find common ground.

My advice is to consider the fact that your fiance is also coping with the fear of his own powerlessness to "fix" you and the situation. The anger and seflishness he is projecting is a result of his own fear, even though it seems directed 100% at blaming you.

Your fiance cannot truly understand your pain without going through it himself. You cannot change him. You can only stand in your truth. This means standing up for yourself (which you are doing.) It could also mean a recognition of his own ignorance and a softening in your heart towards him because he simply doesn't know any better.

At the same time, don't expect him to have the same understanding of you. People only change on their own terms. When they are ready to. I am not saying to be a doormat for the guy. Just not to go beyond your limits at the expense of your own sense of value. Find solace in your own understanding.

Regardless of the fear he projects onto you --- Know that you are an amazing person for your selfless acts of love through excruciating pain. And that good deeds are rarely rewarded right away.