I am so sorry that you are dealing with this type of situation. I almost hate chiming in on this sort of thing because I have been incredibly lucky with my boyfriend. He doesn't dote on me...doesn't wait on me hand and foot...doesn't treat me like I am broken...but he supports me in every way that he can and is always there for me when I need him even if I haven't asked for the help. So I can't give you any real advice on how to deal with the situation based on my own experience because I have been lucky,

BUT...if it was me...I would stop spending so much time and energy on doing things for HIM and put the focus on myself and getting better. When I went through my bad period of spread...when I was in the wheelchair unable to stand or walk at all...I spent my days focused 100% on doing the things that would get me functioning again. That included physical therapy, physical therapy exercises, learning my triggers, finding treatments that helped me, learning HOW to do things all over again (because even though I can accomplish many of the same things I have to do them differently than I used to), focusing on my mental health...all with the goal of taking back my life from this monster. THAT is what I would be spending my time and energy on and if my boyfriend had any smart *** comments about the house not being clean or dinner not being ready I would explain that I am trying to take my life back and to do that I need to focus on getting better so that is what I am doing.

The problem I see with pushing yourself to do all these things for HIM is that you are not doing yourself any favors. Until you get the CRPS under control...you won't be able to be your old self. The pain is just all consuming and your need to start taking control of your condition instead of it controlling you (as much as anyone can anyway). But it takes a lot of time, effort, and focus for that to happen...it's a full time job all by itself. I spent all my time when I was off work on those things I mentioned...and a lot of that time was spent testing my limits, finding that balance between moving and resting, finding the exact treatment protocols that helped me, seeing what I could do to minimize the pain BEFORE I did certain activities, etc. You do have to keep moving and pushing...but it should be with a PURPOSE...and THAT is what you need to outline for your fiancé right now.

It's not about "complaining" about how much you hurt...it's about taking control of your condition as much as you can and working towards a GOAL of taking your life back. He needs to understand that if he "wants the old Emma back" then that's going to take a lot of work on your end and support of his end to get you there.

Don't get me wrong...life will never be like it was before. I've come to accept that...but it doesn't change who I am...and it's the PERSON your fiancé loves...not the things you could do.

I'm sorry if this comes across wrong...as I said before I consider myself VERY lucky to have my boyfriend in my life and with how great he has been through all of this. The best thing he has done for me is not treating me like I am broken...no one wants to feel that way and it actually (for me) would make it harder to focus on doing what needs to be done to take my life back.

I hope you guys are able to work it out and sort through these things. Just continue to be honest with him about what you need...nothing is made better by trying to continue on as normal when things are NOT normal. He cannot possibly understand what you are going though...unless you feel this pain day in and day out there's no way you could...but that doesn't mean he can't be supportive. It's on you though to make sure you make it clear what you need from him...and at that point you will find out if he can or can't be what you need right now...and then you guys can go from there. But he's not psychic...and no matter how obvious we may think we make things...nothing replaces just spelling out EXACTLY what we need/want. Sometimes the hardest part is figuring out what that is ourselves so that we CAN communicate it...both with our loved ones and with our doctors.

And you thought your post was long...lol. All of that just to say that my thoughts are with you and I know you can make it through this. Hugs.