Sadly, I don't think that is in the cards. Sometimes I pray that God will erase my memory just from the awful thoughts and feelings from the accident. I don't think that is in God's plan either, but then I feel a sort of comfort. And here's how I see it...

Everyones life changes in some shape, form or fashion. Think of a newly diagnosed diabetic- they have to adhere to a strict med and food regimen to live, as does a cancer patient, or any other illness at that. People that begin new medications for heart problems and blood pressure have to manage the side effects the meds cause and be more cautious in monitoring their vitals.

Even those not dealing with illness, such as learning to live after the death of a spouse, good friend or parent have to find a new way to "live". Or even people transitioning to a new town or school will have the same. So we all deal with change, we just have to make the best of what comes with it.

I know that is easier said than done. I've been- and still am some days- on the brink of real insanity. I'm no longer footloose and fancy free. I am aware of everything I am thinking 24-7 and question my ability to carry on with such feeling and anxiety. But God gives us strength and comfort in these times and makes us see things in a different light. For instance, this accident has bought me closer to my mom and dad than ever before. I had a very volatile relationship with them for years. Now, we say I love you at least 5 times a day and we mean it- we appreciate each other and have a deep unconditional love.

This awful phase in my life has also strengthened my faith and I have felt God like no other times before. God tells us we should live like we are "ready" everyday. Through this I saw that I was not living ready, I wasn't living my life to glorify God or using my talents in a way to praise Him.

I don't mean to preach but I just firmly believe that God has a specific plan for each and every person. We lean on him for strength no matter the path. I know you wish this wouldn't have happened and without an end "solution" in sight it can seem helpless at times. But, please know that there is good in every situation. And we will one day experience another life changing event which may seem great at the time or hit us like a ton of bricks. We aren't promised tomorrow so live each day "ready" and focus on making the present a happy time.

God bless you, Shady!