Quote:
Originally Posted by CRPSsongbird
My pain is slightly better, my new Dr added 2 new meds, topemex & baclofen. It's helped with the stiffness a little and tiny bit with the burning.
But I'm getting so frustrated of being hurt by my fiancé, he's supposed to be the one person who should be there for me. Seriously, every single day, multiple times a day, he makes these little jabs and comments that make me feel so useless, or like I'm purposely trying to find a way to make things harder for him.....
I know he's having to do pretty much everything now, but I really don't have a choice! I find myself doing things I dam well know my Dr doesn't want me doing, just because I don't want to ask for help and get some kind of remark or comment he knows will hurt me. I'm getting more depressed, and hurting more with each comment and more each day.
If I could I would just pack up my stuff and leave. I have 2 problems with that. One, I would need help packing/unpacking everything and moving everything. Two, I have no where to go. I have no job, no money or savings!! Even if I did, I'd have no where to take it, my father is dead, my sister's an alcoholic on welfare with 5 kids and no extra room. My brother's living on the other side of the state and only has a one bedroom apartment. My mother's broke, jobless, living with a friend, and I'm paying for her cell phone..... I only have a few close friends and they don't have the room for both me & my daughter.... 
I just know I can't live like this much longer.....I really feel like I'm going to scream !! It doesn't help that my legs are throbbing and burning like crazy. Plus I have this insanely bad headache. .it feels like my head is filled with throbbing lightening behind my ears straight to behind my forehead and eyes....
I'm keep crying from the physical pain and the emotional pain then about an hour or two later I get the most intensely painful headaches. ....I just don't know what to do. Or where to go to find any measure of peace....I'm really worried that I'll never get away from this cycle of hurt and insanity....
I have no one who can Help me!!! And I just can't seem to stop crying.... |
First of all I want to say we all here know how you feel when it comes to pain and emotions ..I have had RSD for 4 and a half years.I am not sure how long you have been cursed? I really feel your pain,but I also feel his and your daughters.I remember questioning my life too.I got hurt when my boyfriend and I were first living together..it was really hard dealing with pain and a new beginning in my life.I sat down and told him how I felt about my pain,and what I can do and cannot do.Just so happens he was not aware of some of the things I had told him..Sometimes we take for granted that they do.I also said to him ,,,I feel you get angry that I did not get things done,he said he understood and if I need help tell him..I am really lucky,I am now married to him.. Believe me at times we butted heads..So please think about talking before you jump out on your own...If its your daughters DAD you also need to think of her.I do not want you to take crap from him,but talking can work wonders..Good luck,best wishes...
