Originally Posted by eevo61

Is understandable ,stress will be always our number one enemy.l
Sorry about how things turn with your son, few years ago I was trap as well on the family unfinished business ,my husband had and older son ,31 now with three girls, bad thing ,his ex, she was the whole time getting between me and the relationship I built with his son,after all ,they' were never married lived together only two months and obviously kids pay the price . Well my step son was moving from house back and forward , nothing beneficial,his mom get in the way every time he left ,finally around his 17 birthday I found our he was bringing girls to house which I didn't like at all and let him and his father know obviously he didn't care and dad was mostly,not having an opinion against his son got me to the point of telling them both ,no girls at home or his gone for good ,so he dare to tell me I couldn't tell him anything because I wasn't his mother and he don't even let his mother get into his life less likely me,so I told him if that the case call your mom and leave now,he did called and she showed in less then 10 min, and took him ,and told my husband ,why kind of dad he was that didn't stood up for his child. Child ,he was a me not a little child! Well she took him and a week later they had problem and he came back without me knowing so I get mad , and he was not his room ,I opened the door and told him you will stay here one if you go to school and don't bring girls here this is not your mom house ,you better better and sure I'm not your mom unfortunately for you ,other wise you wouldn't be like this ,so next thing you do,your out.
So he was in school pretending to do go ,sneaking a girl while I was at work and I found out about it and give him an ultimatum ,the streets to the house I wasn't playing ,and he said the house ,he show up one Sunday around 2 pm to introduce his girlfriend , this was months later ,she look ok but dressed to me to modern to come from church but indeed they were coming from church,the stayed few hours and sharing time with grandma and me ,she even like the bible,I know religion here is limit to to talk I won't go far than this and she seems nice, he let us know every time they will visit and was fine,one day they decided to get married ,a year later ,and sure you can imagine the mom getting involve in everything she didn't like the girl because their families where living in an area where they don't get alone,so they paid the priced,mom was annoying and even almost stop he weeding but they made it .almost five months after get married she got pregnant and that was the start of few miserable months and even when the baby came she was acting so bad she even want to be inside the girls room to see her grandchild born, which is a no unless the mother agreed but she dint want her at all,both get into each other there and my stepson wife blamed me , I dint know why until I found out my now daughter in law told them while In delivery if she will stay in that case call Jesika and she can be here also ,I rather had her than you. Well that get me for few years into my ex eye,I was blame for every single problem they had,they almost got divorced and she was coming at my house every time hey fight ,I wouldn't let a mother and a child in the streets, so every time she came I talked to her and convince to get marriage advice at church,he dint want it,because his mom told him she can help him with a baby and. Take he baby away from her ,he tried to do it,with no reason so finally his dad step in and talk like the dad and men he should be with his son,and told him decide , his support and be with his family and forget about his support because he will support his wife,he better stoped listening to his mom and finally be a men ,he didn't like it but he did stoped and let things cool off, they decided to try with therapy and get well deciding no outsiders will get involved. Cut for a while,communication with his mom , was sad because I'm a mother too , told me he knew I was right but also he loved his mom ,but his mom was wrong and he hated that she dint like me and he was sorry. I told him it was ok,now he was a men and a men will look for his mom and forgive her ,but never hurt others to please her way,and he did ,he changed.
He became a good parent ,three girls now, happily married and getting better for his family,he called me mom as well ,somehow his to two,older girl without no one telling them out no where called me grandma ,I'm grandma his mom is nana and his mother in law is granny, I'm the grand ma, she ,his mom now talks to me in a decent way after years of we ignoring each other ,I never ignored the girls mom,they were always nice ,but my son moms get sick last year,fibromyalgia and get real bad, I heard and his son told me to call her and try to help her since I was suffering of sever pain I will understand her ,so it took so much if me to call but I did,she was polite and explained me what she had and felt and we had for first time after 22 years a decent talk there after when we see each other she salute me with a hug and kiss both when we felt hugs are ok,but pain manyntimes get into our ways,recently she was hospitalized with kidney stones and she called me to be with her,is so rare how life change.i know is hard for you know to see the real future be patient future will be good , my oldest granddaughter is 6 years old , I never missed any if the girls due date or birthdays ,or baby showers ,or Christmas , be patient your son will come to realized family is all you have and she will also understand that ,it doesn't matter if you get remarried , love and family will bring sense ,be patient and let stress get away from your mind the best you can ,your grandchildren will reunite the family ,you will seem,be patient and get that device working and ignoring outside stress ,will hurt for a while but soon things will change ,common sense get to people's head and your son will always love you and will get things right ,life in manyntimes is so weird , I don't have my own grandchild yet,my daughter don't even thing on dating school is her only focus ,I think I mentioned her before 21 years old ,microbiologist mayoring and graduating fall 2015 , and decided to do and under or post grade ,I don't see kids to be Honest in her plans but is ok,my steps son gave me the opportunity tho have three grand daughters and have them and when they are few weeks old I was able to carried them because rsd don't let me anymore ,I can play with them or run ,but is fine ,they are there no matter what ,you will have same opportunity soon,be faithful and hope always the best ,the future is not written yet ,do your best on being patient and wait,don't think about anything else For now ,is hard I know stress should left your mind,and hope and faith be your companions ,be patients better days are always come ,sorry about my long story as well,but life is what it is ,gave us what we don't ask and also finally gave us what we need , you will get there .
Blessing and soft gentle hugs ,with love Jesika .
Ps anytime you feel like talking and we can help even others more by being ok.