Quote:
Originally Posted by Alffe
Garvey thank you for being concerned about the effect your killing yourself would have on your wife and daughter.
Our 31 year old son put a gun in his mouth when he was 31 yrs old. He left behind an 8 year old son. That son is now a grown man with children of his own. He lives miles away from us and we used to have contact with him in his growing years (we'd fly him here...etc) When he eventually married and had a son of his own he realized what he had been missing. His wife told me privately that she thinks he never had dealt with his dads suicide until he had a son of his own. He refuses to discuss suicide....says that is his way of dealing with it. Said his dad was a selfish coward and ......I am hurt all over again to think that I'll never get to meet my two great grandchildren or hug my grandson again. I do not feel that I would be welcome in their home...ever!!
I understand that he has his own issues with losing his dad that way...but by not talking about his feelings, his own children will be affected.
And our son Michael was a wonderful person and loved his son more than he will ever know.
And that is why you don't kill yourself.  |
Oh Allfe, I did not know. Please don't give up on your grandkids and making amends. It is never too late until it is over. It took 5 years of estrangement from my father to make amends. It took the death of my mother to realize my grandparents and her side of the family did not like my father and were not able to be in my life because of it. For whatever reasons I still don't know, they stayed in minimal contact with me after and I wish it weren't so. They've long passed away and there is no going back there. I've finally acknowledged and come to terms with me being but a teen going through grief, & it was their responsibility to not give up on reaching out to me. I cherish our few memories & wish there were more. I wish my aunt would call, visit, or tell me stories about what my mom was like--- but she doesn't. She doesn't know this is what I really want. Same for you with your grandkids. They would be lucky to have you in their lives. Keep trying and don't give up on them. Even if it's a card. From my personal experience, it will be cherished. And you never know what the future holds. Things change. I never thought I'd be traveling the country with my father, but I will be in the next few months.