He abuses you because he has learned that you will let him. He will not change without you changing. You need to show him that you are a confident, self respecting woman. The best way to do that is to walk away from him. Let him know that you will consider a reconciliation after he gets help. And, make sure he understands that you mean it.

While you are with him your confidence and self respect will wither away until there is nothing left. For you to take control again, you need to be alone for a while. Spend some time reacquainting yourself with you! Spoil yourself a little. Go to empowering classes, yoga, etc. the stronger you are emotionally the easier it will be to help him.

And you might just learn that you are worth much more, deserve someone who will love you in a positive, nourishing way. Currently, what you have with him is toxic. Go away and detox.

Only my advice based on life experience. Feel free to ignore it.