It sounds like your situation and condition is similar to what mine was years ago. I usually feel sorry for myself for everything I've lost but in many ways I've been lucky. The fear and depression seem a part of the disease to me; they aren't usually experienced except when the whole thing is experienced. They suggested I was exaggerating too, but it seemed to me that, if anything, I was minimizing the symptoms even if my body didn't cooperate. I eventually got SSI back to when I applied and take some more more powerful drugs now for the depression.

I can't really stay on an even keel but if I could this wouldn't be all that bad.

Good luck. I hope it works out for you.