I totally understand how you feel. We all go through grief and dealing with the losses we have. However, I am at quite a peaceful place with all of this now but it took me probably 6 years to get to this place. I find it very difficult to sit normally because I also pudendal neuralgia and it is difficult for me to stand for long periods of time because of the pain that comes on when I stand with CRPS in my legs. I know the doctors, nurses, and other individuals are just trying to be sympathetic, compassionate and understanding when they comment to me that they feel bad that I cannot sit and I'm standing and constantly changing my stance. I do think they feel helpless, especially because it is so difficult for me to sit, and they have no other way to show me how bad they feel for me. At one point it was helpful for me but now I've gotten past that and wish they just wouldn't say anything because I have come to an acceptance of this is the "new me." For me, knowing there are so many others out there like more as helped me come to an acceptance of the changes in my life. Also, everytime I see a young child with a disability I remember that I had a normal life for over 40 years and they never had. That helps me keep things in perspective. It was process to get to this place.