I am using Siri to dictate as typing is a challenge. September 2014 I was crossing the street at a controlled intersection after I confirmed it was safe. I see the walk sign, I am almost halfway across the street and then I feel this incredible pain. I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that transit bus just hit me. I was lucky,The police said if I was 3 feet prior it would've been a different story because it would around me over. It was turning left and connected with my body, through me 10 feet and I landed on my head on the roadway. I could not Get up and when I managed to feel the back of my head I had was covered in blood. I received nine staples. I have been made to feel stupid because people don't understand how I could get hit by such a large object and not see it. I believe the comfort of crossing out a controlled intersection and checking both ways made me feel secure that it was safe to cross though I did see the bus 30 to 40 feet down the road which gave me time to cross and most importantly I had the right away.

I have not received one sent to help with the treatments I have been able to attend from the insurance company for the bus. My doctor told me that the referrals he made have been questioned by the insurance company and to date no specialist have been seen . The insurance company says I should be better because it's two weeks to heal. My doctor try to send me to PCS specialist and told me that insurance has stopped the referral. How can that be? He also referred me to speech therapy because I stutter really bad and he referred me to a psychologist. Not one of these appointments have been okayed by the insurance company for the bus.

I have received over 50 pages of paperwork to fill out in the past two months which was a real challenge when all I could do was sleep because my head hurts so much. Light hurts noise hurts and if I go out I get really anxious around buses and now I cross the streets anywhere but at a satellites because then you're more alert and aware that you can get hit.

Is it normal for the call to hurt my head so much now that it's winter. Is it normal to be so angry and have fits of rage that are uncontrollable and instant. Then there are fits of crying it seems for no reason but I realize I'm so frustrated because it takes me so long to get anything done because my short-term memory is nonexistent. I have a book that I write everything down when I eat when I sleep because I can't remember and I have no hunger pangs.

Is this normal? I am so frustrated and yesterday I just thought why do I bother living like this with no treatments. I know I had an MRI scheduled to weeks after the injury and the insurance company canceled it! How can insurance companies go against a doctor that's been seeing you for years and knows you and knows you don't stutter and have anger issues and feel frustrated and anxious and now depressed?

I am no longer dealing with the insurance company as I told them all you have given me is a lot of work which I had to get people to help me with in the little bit of time that I'm awake when I need to focus on taking care of me and eating. I was totally broke in September and I'm not doing that again.

I need to know how to get better on my own because my doctor can't seem to push to get me to the specialist that I need to see and I can't handle it anymore I just want to live.