I am 8 months into PCS. I thought to try riding my motorbike yesterday as I thought I was improving on my sensitive to jolting symptom but what a mistake it was. I could literally feel my brain shake as soon as the bike hit a speed bump. I almost took a dozon of those bumps in anger to convience myself that nothing is wrong with me and its just my mind playing with me.

I reached home feeling miserable, lost, guilty and scared of a possible setback. I immediately went to sleep and found my whole body shuddering in semi sleep state in the middle of night. Today I feel the deepest dispair. I feel this is never going to end and frustrated that nobody understands it. I hate going to doctors anymore as they just give me sleeping or depression pills. I don't need them as I am damn sure its not my anxiety and there is something else going on.
I never thought I would end up being like this in life. I have severe hyperacusis in one ear and doctors just shrug it off when I bring it up

I am scared that I gave myself sub concussive impacts. This idea of sub concussive impacts has literally frightened me so much i am so sorry i understand i am acting insane right now. I can't resist fighting this symptom and have become very obsessed with it. As if I am dying slowly and nobody can do anything about it. I probably have got a nervous breakdown after riding my motorbike and feeling those bumps in my head. I am so heartbroken that this still hasn't healed in 8 months ! Why am I so obsessed with this symptom ?? Thanks for bearing me I needed to vent so badly. I am just 28