Oh sorry, I got all stuck on the abuse issue. Suicide here isn't an option. He doesn't DESERVE even one second of that thought going through your head! He's not worth it. What he has done to you, you can undo. God I know, the depression can make you crazy, but you can do it, I know you can make it and find peace within yourself.

No thinking about 'IT' allowed! You must focus on you and getting your well-being back.