We don't have a recliner, and I did fine sleeping in my bed after my surgery (first rib, cervical rib, and scalene resection and aneurysm repair). I just shifted positions a lot at first to try to get comfortable. I had a 10-month old daughter when I had my surgery. It was about a month before I picked her up, but I could hold her on my lap pretty quickly after surgery (especially when she was calmer like rocking her to sleep). I've had another baby since my surgery and have not have any problems picking him up.
Like others have said, the pain (and need for pain meds) is just part of the recovery, and you don't want to push it. I found I just needed time and some very gradual physical therapy, and I did fine.
Take care!