I'm sorry you are going through this. Been there myself.

Here are some things that have always helped me when I get in terribly depressed moods. First, working out like a mad man has always lightened my mood. I take all the anger and frustration I have on the weights until exhausted. Not only do you relieve some of that rage, but you also bulk up. Just a thought. Also, I do things for other people. In my mind when I'm down and know I can't get out of that dark place, I figure helping others to find the happiness I cannot is a small consolation. I volunteer to help others, which brings a feeling of companionship, especially with animals.

Each day we continue on with our heads down, plodding forward, is a victory.