dear Barbo,
of course you nail it
i fail to mention
that these terrible things from the past still lives
my thirty year old who started here road to devastation
having lost the rights to her child
who is a PCP addict
a father who does absolutely zero
as we speak she is in the hospital
spoke with her social worker
she was in a terrible way
four point restraint
she was combative
i cannot imagine
where is the relief
it is i her mother who gets the phone calls

my sixteen year old in a program
a place where she is evaluated finally by a shrink
he prescribed lexapro
a drug that took and put me in a suicidal way
and have not come out of it
i am frightened for her
i am smart enough to know what works for one
may not work for another
so reluctant about it
my past is my present state
my children ill in one way or another
me and my sisters
i am bound by my own self
vacuum sealed
trying to break through it
to have that phone call as i did
four days ago
your daughter is in the hospital
attempt suicide
i fail to explain for
it goes on and on and on
i have four children
16, 30, 31, 33 and my grandchild 3 1/2
if it isn't one it's another
and then there is
me
and it has my middle sister and nephew
he is a year almost to date is their birthday
this sister is in her own funk
a real bad one i may add
i mean it's all around me
and i'm the go to guy
estranged from the woman who birthed me
has been since 2003
is not doing well physically
the same condition that me and my sister suffer from
crappy skeletal make up
she had two knee replacement with many other problems
throughout her years
when she did a job she gave it her all
i will stop here
it could go on and on
however
you are absolutely on the money
now lets get my brain to knock it off
merry christmas
me