Hi D, we did a quick recky and this is either the 7th or 8th consecutive time I've been in hospital a week before Xmas, sadly I have ended up back in hospital by New Year's Eve every time. So this year I'm saying NO im not going to give in to the supreme indirect bullying and pressure from family members to participate and show my face. They simply just don't get it, just because I look ok on the outside, I'm not on the inside. Oh and as an added bonus, this year I've just been diagnosed with pneumonia. There is nothing quite like trying to hold a cough because it hurts so much to cough.

I will have some good news to share next week, I can't say it now just in case, and I'm going to need all of you to put on your thinking caps and share your best advice so I can make a good well thought through decision. And yes I did something "silly" thinking it cant cause any harm and nothing will come of it!