Thank you, Bobby.

I do have good non-virtual friends. It was amazing to see that the "connection" with each of them was stilll there. Well, all but one, and maybe it was there, but tainted by bigger things.

There was a lot of hard stuff. A lot. And I really didn't process things much while I was there. I did some... and I did have some down days there, but there was a lot of socializing even just at home, and then later the kids. So I did have to take time alone, merely to regroup from all the human contact. And maybe I didn't quite regroup entirely.

I also slept with one eye open, and with the lights on, for 5 weeks straight, because of the bug situation. That's nights I actually slept. That is a lot of vigilance.

I guess many things about the trip, both good and bad, were ultimately exhausting. Maybe it was not such a good call to stay 5 weeks. I guess I OD'd. LOL. It sure didn't feel like an OD though. I cried a couple times just thinking about having to come back here. And that was not about my friends at all. The place feels more natural to me.

I don't know if all these things should be able to overwhelm me, or if one should feel this bad. Maybe when you add it all up... it's quite plausible. That's what I want to ask my therapist. We will see. Maybe I will feel better by then.

waves