Originally Posted by Starznight

I think the problem concerning family member belief that others are faking it, is more in reference to the fact if the lady on TV can haul stones, but Erin can't get out of bed that Erin is the one faking it.

It's a rather messed up disease where there are some like me who went from sporty super athletic, to wheelchair, to crutches, to cane, to wheelchair, to cane.... Boingy boingy.... Who have days where we're 'normal' and days where we're good for little else than warming the bed... And then others who shoot straight down to the depths of immobility never to return, and then those who you would never know there was anything wrong.

The problem is in the quest to obtain 'normalcy' many family members and friends would like to believe there is nothing wrong, it's not just with MS, it's even seen a lot with cancer patients, but essentially they find the one person who appears 'normal' and use that as the guideline to view their family member through.

When the person with MS does anything outside their "guideline" then it must not be true. Cruel as it sounds many people find it easier to believe their family or friend is just "seeking attention" than believing anything is wrong.

Unfortunately, that is human nature, our brains are hard-wired to protect our pysce and no matter how irrational it may be at times, it will seek out the best explanation regardless of the evidence. It's also why the first and easiest step of grief is denial and why so few ever truly make it to acceptance.

It's a bit hurtful to those of us whose family members are perpetually stuck in that phase, but there's little else one can do but merely accept it for what it is. If nothing else regardless of how hurtful their words and even actions may be, it's because they do love you but are powerless and lacking in a strong pysce to move on and accept it.