Qtip,

I think you have done a fine job of expressing my recent conclusions to my thoughts.

This is truly up to me and I have lost confidence in myself somewhat so I have been spending to much time on here clawing for hope....my hope really has to lie in the fact that God gave me the skill and determination to beat this and I need to renegage that. That is the only way I will win.

This is a great site, I wish I had found it months sooner.....it is all in what you make of it, how and why you use it.

Bud