I think it's important to fight the spread because you'll be doing better when it isn't spreading. But it seems as though the total amount of misery or your ability to enjoy your life aren't affected by the spread. It seems as though spread just gives you more places for pain rather than more pain.

Don't despair. It's easy to mourne the loss of your old life and to feel you'll never be happy or productive again but so long as you're fighting, trying, and looking for relief from all your problems you can still do reasonably well. Find activities and meds that work for you and try to have as muchg fun as you can while attending (but not attending) to the pain and the misery it wants to inflict. Much of the misery is caused by reacting badly.

Hang in there and best of luck. Say something if it's hurting too much. We may not be able to help in the least but we do understand. It's funny but doctors can't understand this unless they get it and even then we don't really understand and it's always a matter of coping and controlling your enviroment and your reactions to noxious stimuli.

One thing you always get here is a good ear.