I meant to restart the benzo but I keep forgetting to take it.

Sometimes I've taken it. Other times I've been so exahusted I haven't, just because I felt like I'd be knocked out.

I do not tell myself this too shall pass. That's what I tell other people, when I don't want them to worry about me.

Of course it is true -- everything passes, including life.

I just thought I'd post an update. I am sorry it couldn't be better. It is what it is.

love

waves

p.s. I cannot eat fattening food really -- too filling/makes me sick. I have to eat things very plain, and priority is to get down as much protein as I can, to make minimum. Other than that I get a portion of veg and/or fruit, and that is important or I won't go to the bathroom. For minerals/electrolytes, too. Also it just so happens bananas are easy on me, so I have those often. And cooked apples. All plain though. And in between, starches because they are easy on me, but not much because I just can't eat much, so by the time I've got a bit o protein and a veg or fruit down... I'm full and don't get hungry for hours!!! Fatty foods are hard on me, and that's where I'm losing all the calories because I normally eat a good bit of fat. Some complex foods are ok (like the christmas bread was ok, thank goodness, but I could only handle small pieces of it).