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Originally Posted by SeamsLikeStitches
Well, I guess it was too good to be true...
I started dating a guy a few months ago, and he saw my first "episode" last week. It wasn't stress related or anything, just a rough week. When the cane came out of the closet, he got scared and decided to walk!
On Saturday night we went to the movies, everything was fine, we had a great time. Sunday morning we went to his daughters soccer game, then out to lunch. I noticed a little "distance" in his attitude. I asked about it. He said he was "concerned" about my PN and thought that maybe it was a little more than he was ready to handle.
In the beginning of the relationship, (when we decided to be "monogamous and serious") I told him about the PN, explained what it was and how it worked. He seemed pretty o.k. with it. Of course, he couldn't see the effects at that time. Just that I can't wear high heels and walk very fast.
Well, last week, when I wasn't able to go out with him when he wanted me to, and I had to get the cane out of the closet for a few days, it was a reality check for him. I needed extra sleep a few nights, I was feeling exhausted and felt my body just hitting a wall. I knew if I didn't get some rest I was going to be dragging for a while.
So, he packed up all his "overnight" things he had at my house on Sunday when he left and we decided we would no longer be "monogamous" and he would "call me" later.
Basically, he is too shallow and scared of what this might turn into and he doesn't want to have to take care of someone who might be an invalid in a few years!
This is the reality check! This is the scary part! Being single with a disease! When you finally find someone, and you do start to like them, what if you do get worse? What if you do become less mobile? Is it fair to ask them to stay with you? Is it fair to ask that person who barely knows you to "stick it out" through thick and thin to see if you will rebound?
Should I just accept the fact that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life? Who is going to want to be with someone who is disabled?
Why would someone want to start a relationship with someone who is eventually going to be disabled?
It doesn't matter how pretty your face is, if they have to pick your butt up from a wheel chair to put you in bed, how romantic is that? If they didn't love you "before" you were in that wheelchair, what's going to draw them to you after you are there?
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Hi Seams,
Please do not be resolved to thinking that you eventually will end up in a wheelchair. That sort of thinking is detrimental to your recovery. And believe me you are recovering. You seem to be doing heaps better than your very early posts. It just takes much longer with PN because PN is a symptom,and you must find the cause. I forget your testing, but I would definately look at food intolerances/gluten and vitamin deficiencies as best I can.
Also the unfortunate reality of life is weather we are married or single, there is still no guarantee that our significant others will stick it out through severe disablement. I know plenty of spouses that have taken off running when there partner became ill.
But with a positive mental attitude you can accomplish much,and just think that this guy was not the man for you. Life is not one big party. Just think that you were spared bigger dramas down the road,and that the right MAN for you is still out there.
PN does not have to lead to disability. When I first got PN, I was virtually disabled, could not walk, I was in pain 24/7 and my autonomic system was all over the place.
27 months later I am feeling stronger and better. I feel like a person with a new lease on life. Yes I have PN, yes I have a bad back with more PN, but I am a good person and have alot to offer, and so do you.
You have been through a great deal in your life and you have managed to pull through. This guy, was not the "MAN". Don't confuse a guy with a "MAN".
