Originally Posted by Luthier

I'm really tired that just because I got the implant put in that people think that I'm cured and look at me like I'm faking when I'm in pain. I can't use the implant all the time. It feels good and all but it's really distracting and I can't focus on what I need to focus on when I'm working.

I'm really tired of my asshole boss his little minion Lew that throws me under the boss any chance he gets and continues to call me a cripple and ***** for sitting down when I need to, just because I'm the youngest in the wood shop, and the other perfectly healthy 40 year old dude can stand all day. WELL GOOD FOR HIM, I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT.

I know that I'm doing pretty well considering the stage of RSD that I'm in. But I'm tired of having to take care of everyone. I have this curse and I still drive my own truck and I still work a 40 hour work week and it ****ing sucks, it's horrible. But I don't have a choice, I have to work. I have to be able to pay the bills and eat. But the main part of it is, is that I'm tired of being the only one in the house hold that's actually responsible. I'm the only one of the three total people in the house that pays bills and buys food. Oh and I'm also again the youngest. 27 year old taking care of a 30 and a 38 year old, who both have full time jobs like me, but **** off bills that keep a roof over their head because they're idiotic selfish human beings.

Mostly I'm just tired of being taken advantage of. I know that I'm too nice and that I do a lot for people. But I do actually like to help people. Like if I give you gas money for taking me somewhere, Don't buy cigarettes with it. That's shitty.

I'm also really scared that I'm going to be alone. And I'm depressed that I'm alone. Because since the surgery I feel pretty good, and a lot more confident at that, but as soon as someone finds out that I have a medical Implant, they're like "**** this dude" god forbid they find out what it's for. I just want the opportunity to be able to spend my life with someone who I can actually believe that they have feelings for me. That would be pretty awesome.

I'm tired that my folks are up my *** about everything I do because they're so right winged republican that it makes my head hurt. Yes mom, I smoke weed. It's pretty cool, it makes my mind slow down and it makes my leg not hurt. Also gives me a pretty descent appetite when I'm in to much pain to eat. I know that I'm asking for it if I'm the one that told them, but they're still dumb, but of course, I still love them.

And I'm tired of being tired all the time. which is one thing that I can do something about here pretty soon.

Good night all and thanks for listening to me *****!