A few years ago, while researching chronic pain on the internet, I came across a pamphlet which had been released by the Pentagon through the freedom of information act. It was a pamphlet created during the early days of the Vietnam "police action", to teach field operatives how to extract information from their captives with leaving physical scars.

I wish I could find it again, but I've looked and looked, and can't seem to find it anywhere. What was so interesting about this pamphlet was that it came closer to describing the stages of chronic pain better than most medical studies I've ever had the chance to read. It talked of making the person feel singled-out, abandoned by their families because they were "different" now. It told how to make them feel unworthy, and gradually lead them down an emotional and psychological path of despair, until nothing mattered anymore except having a friend to talk to who would understand. Then, of course, they'd bring in someone new who sympathized totally with the person being interrogated. According to the report, it was a very effective method.

But what got me the most, and what I'm trying to get to, is that this single military document described the misery and decline of my own life much better than anything else I had seen. I was more than surprised, I was shocked by the process it described. And I've never been able to get it out of my mind. If anyone else has stumbled across this pamphlet, I would really love to have an e-mail to lead me too it. Because it gives you a certain insight into how the body actually responds to chronic stress and pain.